I'm serious. I do. I don't have very many friends. I just have a lot of acquantinces, and I also have a few *pretend friends. For example, my only real friends are Batman and Ex-Bf. Oh, and there's also Strawberry-Blonde girl, and Sister-To-Tall-Boy, but they go to a different school, so I hardly ever see them.

*People like 'other friend' (see last journal) who I actually find almost unbearably annoying but am nice to anyway, because that's just how nice/awesome I am.

*Okay, I lied. I'm not really even that nice to her any more. Why does she still hang out with us? We're NEVER nice to her! Our whole lives pretty much consist of mocking her. Geez. I would just go and get some new friends, if I were her. She just doesn't want to look like a loner. I bet she just wants to hang out with Batman and I, aka. The Cool People.

And then, I guess I have a few online friends as well. Such as Ky, and, uh, Ky, and... DRAGON FANG. Dragon Fang is my friend! Yeah. - Cough. - Oh, wait a minute! All the people at BV! They're my friends! Oh yeah.

You know, that pretty much means I have more friends online than in real life. Now is that sad, or what.

O.k, off the topic of me and my depressing life, and my depressing lack of friends, and my depressing depressingness.

And onto the topic of...
Yeah.
We could talk about Ex-Bf if you like. Though I don't really like to do it behind his back. Oh well. I already do in my real life journal, so I'll just go ahead.

Here's the deal: Ex-Bf still likes me, I secretly still like Ex-Bf, but cannot go out with him, because, well, everyone will just make fun of me, and maybe his Current Girlfriend will get all bitchy at me, and that won't be nice, because I don't think I'm very good at confrontation. Yes, he has a girlfriend, even though he claims to still like me. Don't ask me. I partially do not believe him, but Batman keeps convincing me that he is in LURRVVEE (with me) which sounds a bit ludicrous to me, but when I told her that, she just got a bit snappy and started talking about Kenviny, her latest crush who last year went down on one knee with a rose, and asked her to be his honky. Only she refused, because, well, she didn't even know him, let alone like him last year. But this year he's in our class, and he's kinda funny, but a bit weird, but still, I guess she got to know him better or something crazy. And now all she ever does is talk about what an idiot she is for refusing. And I'm not about to object to that.

For example, I TRY and have a civilised txt-conversation with her about Ex-Bf, and I just get something like "Ex-Bf, lmao! OMG, I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!!! WHY DIDN'T I SAY YES?!" Which is pretty amusing, but after a while just gets kinda, well, boring. So then I just end up txting Ex-Bf anyway. Which I should seriously stop doing. I mean, maybe I'm encouraging him. O.k, that's it. I'm just going to try to not txt him next free-txt weekend (it happens every weekend, free txt from vodafone to vodafone, it's quite good, and leads to many a txt conversations between me and Ex-Bf lasting to about midnight, which, although kind of fun, HAVE TO STOP!!!).

OKAY, TIME FOR ANOTHER CHANGE OF SUBJECT! I may or may not be submitting a Deviation soon. It depends if I can get it to work. I'm thinking of doing some sort of modern... well, I won't give it away. It'll be a prose though, not poetry, or photography, as per usual. Where's Ky? - Pokes Ky's offline-ness -. I don't think I'll be able to start unless she's online to talk to, when I get to a boring bit, and need some advice.

- Twitches. -

I think I'll just go and look at good old Toastan now. Maybe I have a new issue to adress! Yesterday I decided to barcode my people. ^__^ Speaking of barcodes, that was my brothers idea once. He wanted to get a barcode tattoo on the back of his neck. If he doesn't get it, I think I will. It's a pretty damn nifty idea, IMO.

Sorry this was more about all my horribly un-problemlike problems, and not very humurous at all. Wait a minute. I might have something for you, to amuse you/congratulate you for being able to read this much boring crap. Here, you can read these advertisements I wrote to entertain myself whilst recruiting for BV yesterday. ^^

Why, funny you should say that! Because, for a limited time only, I am offering n00blish lessons! Confused by the n00bs about you? Feeling like you're stuck in the past? For three easy payments of $29.95, you'll receive this set of five instructional videos, and one n00b-to-literate dictionary by bestselling author, Mannequin! Mannequin has lead a successfull career in linguistics, and today is your opportunity to share it with her!

Pay by credit card, and you will also recieve the 'despie translations, volume 1!'. Having sold over 10,000 copies worldwide, this is another essential piece of literature for any Mannequin fan!

Call is toll-free. Call within the next ten minutes and recieve a complimentary muffin, curtosy of Shameless Advertisers Inc.

Then Soilio Said: Tell me more of this muffin you speak off... Though I fear to tread on N00bish grounds, do you offer any vaccines to help prevent any brain loss?

Then I replied: This muffin, you say? THIS MUFFIN? This is no ordinary muffin! It's full of all the things you love - flour, water...dough... that's about it.

Wait a minute. It appears I have recieved some breaking news! The 'no-ordinary-muffin' muffin has a new recipe, with even more of the things you love! We don't want to give the whole delicious, secret recipe away, but I can tell you it includes....

SUGAR! - Throws some sugar in the air - And... ASPARAGUS! - Shakes some asparagus in your face. Proceeds to do a dance with both sugar-throwing and asparagus-shaking, and a catchy tune with unforgettable lyrics such as "Sugaaarr! Mmnhmm, As-pa-ra-gusss!!" -

We don't offer vaccinations, but I do have a novelty oversized stabbity-injection-thing, if you want it. ^^

Then Soilio Replied To My Reply: Hmm… really, though the flour, water dough muffin sounded mightily tempting I don’t think that I can resist that astounding combination. And *gasps* a oversized stabbity-injection-thing, I have wanted one for as long as I can remember, why the oversized stabbity-injection-thing is much better that the average sized stabbity-injection-thing, and I won’t even mention the retched undersized stabbity-injection-thing *shudders*. It’s quite the offer, do you accept the “Soilio Gold card” It takes average currencies and translates it into foreign fish, salt and fresh water!

And I replied to her reply to my reply: Oh, please, don't even speak to me about average sized stabbity-injection-things! They are SO last season!

Ahh, let me check my sources! - Blinks. - Indeed we do! - Takes card - Sorry... I jus love to do this. - Swishes it in the supermarket-typed-swishy-card-money-taker. -

Now, how much were those priced at? $59.95? I think so. Oh my, is this card fancy or what? Fresh water included? You know, I remember the days when every card translated into Fresh Water. Those were better times, my friend.

- Continues to make farm animal noises. -

...*Trumpet.




*You know. Like an elephant.

*Trumpet.

*Trumpettrumpet.

Soilio etc: Better times indeed, a good trout would feed the family for a month, and buy diapers for the cat. *shakes head* Ever since the great drought of ‘92 there was little choice in the matter though, a horrible site, dried scaly corpses everywhere, at that point people were scrounging for minnows just to get by.... Farm animals..?

Me: I was only a babe in "92, so I do not remember much of such a time. And I was born under the sea, anyway. I lived a life plentifull with... marine life!
- Sings. -
Under the sea,
Under the sea,
They'll be no accusations!
Just friend-ly crustaceans,
Under the
SEAAAAAA.

Yes... a farm! In africa! With seals! - Barks. -

Well, so there you go. Then it got a bit less interesting, and that would make my journal less humorous and more lengthy. Enjoy your day!

- Mannequin, aka. The Bestest Ever Advertiser.